Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(314): View more from Missouri

i don't want you to think of me as your TA

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(757): View more from Virginia

He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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(719): View more from Colorado

U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..

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(785): View more from Kansas

Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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(914): View more from New York

I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.

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