We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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