like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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