YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
