does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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