you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
