remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
