i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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