he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
