nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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