So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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