Who did Billy Mays play for?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize