i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
