I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
