He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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