do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
