just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
