I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize