I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
God, I missed his penis.
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