Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
