hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
