You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
