I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
