Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize