somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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