My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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