I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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