if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize