If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
