Nicole vs. Life
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
