There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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