I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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