Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
