4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
