I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
