We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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