I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
