The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
