so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were trust falling into bushes
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
