dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
