when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
