To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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