great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
3pm strippers are depressing
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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