And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
