It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
