We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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