Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I want to be your penis for a week.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
