now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone came in the potted fern
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
