just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
