yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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