FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
this just has baby written all over it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
