He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
