The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize