i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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