he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
