I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
