Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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