She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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