hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
