Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize