Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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