Just cropdusted the office
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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