God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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