found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
