I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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