Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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