honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
