I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize